Just got back from Syracuse...

I just got back from my friend’s law school graduation in Syracuse over the weekend and I had a great time. It’s amazing the lack of black men that are seeking higher education. There was ONE black guy graduating out of 200+ law school graduates!! Amazing! So, ladies if you’re looking for that SBM, w/o kids, educated, etc.... GOOD LUCK finding him! I know there are a few of them out there but they are not easy to find!!

I didn’t meet any exciting men up there (nor did I expect to meet anyone - after all it’s Syracuse!!) Although, I saw this fine brotha on the flight back to NY!!
He was hot, sexy and clearly works out at the gym. I didn’t even say anything to him…I was definitely not in flirt mode. After all, I had to get up at 4AM to catch a 6AM flight so you know I was barely coherent, just alert enough to make sure I got through the security checkpoint (that was a 20 minute wait) and get on the correct flight.

Then, yesterday afternoon, back in NY, I had a very interesting conversation with my co-worker (gold tooth guy) and he mentioned that he was intrigued by my intellect and he mentioned that "I'm marriage material" and any guy would be honored to marry me. Wow that’s so nice to know that there are guys who are fawning over me, albeit not my type. He mentioned that I need a guy like him who is down to earth, and can flow in any type of situation, but at the same time someone that I can't walk all over. Then I mentioned that there was a dichotomy in our worlds and he gave me a puzzled look! Ok, so he was unsure of the meaning of that word, and I proceeded to give him the definition. So, I ask you is it important to meet a man who is smart (not necessarily an uber-intellectual) or for you to think that you can actually meet someone that you will have to "teach"? Personally, I’m not in that market, at this point in my life, to teach someone an expanded American English vocabulary. Anyway, he mentioned that he likes to have intellectual conversations and occasionally hangs out with his son. He mentioned that he’s a good guy, who practices safe sex and doesn’t really hang out a lot. Then out of the blue he tells me, “What if I told you that I got married over the weekend?” I laughed!! I said “Yeah right!!” Well, it turns out that he got married to the mother of his 4 year old child over the weekend, at his apt. with only his close family and friends…..which leads me to my next thought - Is it appropriate to flirt shamelessly with someone of the opposite sex when you know that you are not actively in the dating market? I know I don’t think that’s too cool but I guess men (and women) do it all the time! It turns out that he is in love with his wife but doesn’t love her...not sure what that means...and I guess just because he’s married doesn’t mean he’s blind. He also said that he has up to 1 year to get the marriage annulled. What a comforting thought! That really makes me want to run to the altar and get married, how about you?

Until next time....

Updates on the guys.....

I'm trying to blog as frequently as possible but sometimes life gets in the way, if you know what I mean. My mom has been in town for the past few weeks so it's been busy and I haven't been living online like I normally would. She left today and this is a good way to focus on something else.

I know some of you are looking for updates on “sugar daddy”. He got on my nerves so I’ve decided to kick him to the curb. He had too many habits, such as smoking, bad teeth, and a prepaid cell phone, that I didn’t like. I also felt that he was calling me too much. Fortunately, he stopped calling for a few weeks, but then he started calling me again a few days ago. I don’t think I’ll be returning his calls because I can do a lot better than that or at least I hope so. I’ve dismissed anyone that I’ve met in the last month or so and I’m now operating with a clean slate. It makes life a little more exciting. I swear sometimes, I think this dating thing is fun and other times it’s a real pain in the butt....trying to juggle people, attempt to remain interested and then see if they have long term dating potential. As they say, the grass is always greener on the other side!!

Then.....just when I wonder if things are getting boring, I realize that there’s always excitement when I step out in my neighborhood.

Last night I ran into “big daddy” (read more about him in the April 18th blog) at a local neighborhood restaurant which I’m actually not going to name it since he hangs there ALL the time. He was dining by himself and asked me to pull up a chair next to him. He offered me a drink and we starting talking. He wanted to know what was up with me and after we got through the small talk pleasantries, he basically mentioned that although he got engaged a month and a half ago…are you ready for this??? That could have been me!! Yeah right!! I’m not that desperate and dammit, I have standards!! Let’s see if I’m saying that if I’m single at the age of 40 or 50. He said that he still likes me and likes the fact that I have integrity, I’m beautiful and I’m smart. And that I’m so much more amazing than he’s fiancé (ouch!!) He mentioned that I basically didn’t know a good thing while I had it. He said that he enjoyed our interactions, the good times as well as the bad. The main issue between us was that we differed on too many things, such as what gets me worked up in the world of race, class and politics and the fact that I don’t like certain aspects about my block, such as the guys hanging out at the corner. He has never left the neighborhood, so he thinks that I’m just being elitist. We ended up having a heated discussion last night but it simmered after a while and he said that if I want to have a further conversation over dinner, just to let him know. Now, I don’t know how I would feel if I were engaged and my man was still chasing after some other woman. That’s really unnecessary!! I think he’s just at that critical age of 35-40 and is ready to settle down and get married so that’s been his focus in the past few years. It’s scary how a person can get when they become desperate!!

Hanging out in DC....

Last weekend I went to DC with my Mom for a conference. I had a great time while I was there. Maybe I should consider living in DC for a while….hmmmmm…
I got hit on by several young guys (24 year olds) which made me realize, either I look good or they like older women!
I rented a car for the weekend and the cutie pie at Enterprise convinced me to upgrade to an SUV, and of course, I said yes. He seemed to be flirting while doing his work in a very efficient manner. I was impressed. In one year, he’s worked his way up to Asst. Manager and is on the verge of being promoted again. I love to see a brotha aiming high!!
Then when I went to the convention center, I had another guy flirt with me shamelessly, in front of my mom. I figured that was a bold move on his part. He was able to recommend some places where I can hang out in DC and have a good time. He also gave me his number but I was only marginally interested in him.

Florida was fun!

OK, I’m realizing that keeping a blog takes time and energy. I went down to Florida and nothing earth shattering happened. I actually behaved myself. I stayed with a friend of mine who lives in the Fort Lauderdale area and had a very fun and relaxing time while I was down there. It made me consider moving down there, esp. with the nice weather and the quality of life compared to NY.