Dating a musician...or not...

Well I might a guy a few weeks ago – he's a musician. I went out with him a few times over the past week or so and he seemed like a nice enough guy but the main drawback is that he's only 5'2", which I don't find very appealing!! He has a pleasant personality, well traveled and smart. I initially chatted with him because he wanted me to listen him perform with his band but I couldn't stay to hear him play. Anyway, the other night I decided to test my culinary skills on him so I made salmon w/ a glaze that I found online along with peas & rice and callalloo. He enjoyed the meal and we sat around and chatted for awhile then I kicked him out when I was ready to go to sleep. I started to analyze the entire situation and ponder the concept of being single vs. dating someone.

Ultimately I am realizing that although I would like to date someone seriously (and eventually have a relationship), I truly enjoy my independence and solitude, even if it gets lonely at times. I don't like having someone completely doting on me and wanting me to touch them, kiss them, and be attentive to them constantly. That is such a turn off....unless I'm REALLY into the person. I don't really like getting too touchy feely but at the same time, it doesn't mean that I'm not into the person. It just means that I have a different way of expressing myself when it comes to love and affection.

This is truly an interesting dilemma. Maybe I need to take a little hiatus from this whole dating thing because it’s truly exhausting and takes up a lot of energy!!
I'll keep you posted............

Back in Harlem......

OK, I admit it’s been awhile! I can’t believe that summer is officially over….I’m so not ready for the cold weather here in NY :( I really have no excuse except that I’m really swamped with work, and oh yeah, life in general!! My friend came in to visit for Olympus Fashion Week here in NY a few weeks ago! We had a blast. I’m still recuperating!

Last night I ventured out to Creole, in Harlem. My friend, the owner, was having his birthday celebration. I wasn’t too sure that I was going to go because my day started off at 7am and most of you know that I’m not a morning person!! I attended a women’s only workshop at Christian Cultural Center (CCC) in Brooklyn entitled “Things That Men Do That Drive Women Crazy.” (The workshop for the men was held the night before)

It was very interesting because there was a lot of interaction on what bothers women about men such as communication (men and women communicate differently) double standards (such as when men/women want to hang out with their friends and the curfew for them to be back in the house), actions vs. intentions (women expect men to understand based on their intentions while men are usually more interested in the actions), and other interesting tidbits. I spent the afternoon hanging out with my cousins before heading home.

Anyway fast forward to last night, I got out to Creole around 12:30 am and had an enjoyable night with a DJ spinning R&B, hip hop, reggae, old school, salsa and soca. There was a nice gathering of people there but I’m always curious why a guy will try to step to a woman when she’s had a few drinks and/or when she’s trying to leave for the night. In this case, it was the latter that happened to me. This guy wanted my number so that he could take me out to dinner. I wasn’t too sure if he was very serious because he seemed to be a little intoxicated so we’ll see when he’s actually in a more coherent state. Then when I actually left the restaurant, this extremely obese (350-400 pound) guy who had dissed me inside (and I had actually taken pity on the guy) wanted to talk to me and get my number. I asked him why he didn’t want to dance with me and he said it was because he was intimidated by my amazing moves on the dance floor – like I really believe that!! (Though I know I am a really good dancer so there could be some truth in that!!) Anyway, I was feeling magnanimous and gave him my number. This actually leads me to an interesting and provocative thought, which is - Am I wrong to give a guy my number just for the hell of it if I’m not really into him? I appreciate any feedback that you want to share!!