I'm baaaacckkkk!!!

Well, I'm back after a bit of a hiatus. I thought I was putting the blog to rest but I have to say that I kinda missed it!! So, there’s a lot going on with me. I’m starting a new job in a few weeks. I’m excited and a little nervous about that but I’m sure that it will be challenging, which is definitely what I need. Well, I’ve cleaned house (from a dating standpoint)….and now there’s really only one guy on the immediate horizon. There was another potential guy in the picture "Randy" but he turned out to be a little slimy. I had noticed Randy a lot at Creole, a great bar/restaurant in Harlem and there seemed to be a mutual attraction. Randy is a 48 y.o. black American guy who came across as a handsome, debonair, nice, smart individual. I hung out with him a few times. Then for his birthday last weekend, he brought a woman, who claimed was his "friend with benefits". Needless to say, he had told me about her in passing, but when I actually met her, I realized that she was positioned more like a girlfriend as opposed to just a casual fling and that to me is too much drama. She wasn’t cute, closer to his age and had a huge attitude. I guess I need to stick to guys who are closer to my age. But, it seems challenging to meet these guys who are in my age range.

Ok, onto the guy that I AM REALLY feeling. I wasn’t going to talk about him, because I was debating whether I should keep it as my little sacred secret, but why not share some of the excitement as well as the ups and downs with my friends. That way, if it works out…you guys will be right there with me and if it doesn’t, at least I have a support network in place.

I met "Jay" in January when my mom and I were in Trinidad and we have been friends since then, talking by phone and keeping in touch via email. He came up to the U.S. on vacation and ultimately plans on moving up here next year (at least that’s what he’s saying now!!). He works for BWIA, which is the national airline of Trinidad and Tobago that is shutting down on 12/31/06 and re-opening next year as a new airline under new management (but w/ the same aircraft under a new logo) All of the BWIA staff will be receiving a 3-year severance package, not too shabby if you ask me!! You could definitely do a lot with that money. Well Jay is a youthful 28 y.o., though he looks a lot younger than that which makes for a lot of interesting looks and stares when we hang out with him, because they probably think that I’m robbing the cradle!! He arrived at the airport and I was sooooooo nervous because I hadn’t seen him a while and I wondered if the attraction was still there...what if he thought I was too fat...what if he gained/lost a lot of weight...what if he doesn’t like me anymore...so many questions. Before I knew it, he was coming out w/ his bag and boy did he look yummy...and sexy and drop dead gorgeous. I wanted to jump up and down and do back flips. He came back to my place and we talked half the night away and the subsequent nights after that. I was so glad that he decided to start his vacation in NY.

Over the course of a little over a week that he spent in NY, I learned a lot about him. I met his brother, talked to his mother and learned more about him, his personality, and what makes him tick. He walked me to the train in the mornings and would meet me after work. There were so many amazing moments where I felt like I was being challenged to be on my A game (something that rarely happens with a lot of guys that I meet!!) We had a deep mental, spiritual, and of course physical attraction to each other. We would talk endlessly and I was able to bring him to various functions and he was easily able to hold his own regardless of the audience. We also prayed and went to church together which is something that I hadn’t done in a very long time. So, I realized that even if he’s not THE ONE, he could potentially open my mind and heart up to meeting that person who I’m supposed to be with. It felt really exciting to go with someone that you actually want to be around and with whom you can share your excitement about different political and cultural events. As many of you know I am truly an information junkie so it’s nice to be around someone who can appreciate that side of me and can match my conversation so that I don’t have to dummy it down for him. It also made me ponder how ludicrous it is to be feeling and falling for someone who doesn’t even live here!! I guess sometimes you have to import a man :) People do stuff like that all the time. You only live once!

Anyway, I was a wreck when he left for Atlanta to visit his friends. I didn’t want him to go. I was sad, disappointed, frustrated, etc.. He said he would come back in about a week and a half. Then the day he was supposed to come, it didn’t happen because he claimed he couldn’t get on a flight (space available). I basically called him a liar and gave him a piece of my mind and told him how disappointed I was that he didn’t come back as promised. We got through that after some apologizing and groveling on his part. I decided to accept that but I felt that I needed to pull back a little before I got too caught up! Anyway, yesterday he went onto NC to visit some other friends who were going to be celebrating an early Thanksgiving. He supposedly found a few schools in Atlanta that he likes and he’s considering moving there. Of course, I don’t really like Atlanta and moving down there is pretty much out of the question. So, things between us might have to remain on the friend plateau for a while because I’m not going to spend oodles of cash going back and forth to see him. Also, I’m not a big fan of long distance relationships because they rarely work unless one person moves to be with the other person within a FINITE amount of time. Otherwise, the door is wide open for either party to cheat, stray, or lose interest. He claims he will be back in NY to celebrate Thanksgiving with me...we’ll see if that actually happens. Of course, it will all depend on whether he can get on a flight. Also, his mom is going to be coming up to NY and he wants me to meet her though that I’m a little less sure about. I don’t want to meet his mom unless I feel like it’s going to be a lasting relationship. We’ll see.........