Hanging out at Sequoia's

Last night was the culmination of a long week of hanging out every day after work. Sometimes I think I’m getting to old for all this working all day and hanging all night agenda. But, after all it’s summertime so it’s definitely worth it.

I had a rendezvous at Sequoia’s (South Street Seaport) with James (not his real name, of course) who works for a major investment firm in lower Manhattan. I met him last summer at a political fundraiser and we had been trying to meet up for drinks for the longest time. He showed up about 45 min. late (but at least he called to say he would be running late). In the meantime, I chatted with the bartender, who was very friendly and made pretty good drinks! He came along with his friend, who turned out to be a hot 24 year old guy). They were perfect gentleman; they bought drinks and appetizers for me all evening so that was very nice. They started talking about how they have been friends for about 5 years, I think, and that they work out together so I started to wonder whether or not they were dating each other. So, once we had thrown back a few more drinks, I decided to be bold. I said I needed to ask them a question but I hoped that neither of them would be offended. So, I asked them if they were seeing each other. Now, I have to say, the fact that they weren’t black might have helped because they handled it in stride and said no. In fact, it turns out that James is simultaneously dating 2 women who don’t know about each other and even though he is in 30’s, he has no intention of settling down anytime soon. Well, at some point, we went upstairs, because there was a dj playing latin, hip hop and reggae music and hung out for a little while. I ran into a few guys that I knew from hanging out at TGI Fridays and then I headed back to Brooklyn because I got tired seeing a bunch of young, semi intoxicated, half naked women running around trying o get the attention of some loser type guys.

Diversity event @ Lincoln Center

Last night I went to a diversity event at Lincoln Center, sponsored by Paul, Weiss (appropriately considered the #1 most diverse firm in the country). As I was walking to the elevator, one of my friends mentioned that she was there to meet a husband and my mouth basically dropped because I realized that when I go out I truly don’t go looking to meet a husband, I really go to network with people. Anyway, as we got into the elevator with about 20 other women, I realized that a.)there were going to be way too many women and b)these children looked about 21!!! I met some friends at the event. Now, I must say, in terms of open bar, passed hors d’oeuvres and food stations, this was definitely one of the must attend events of the summer. From a networking standpoint, maybe not so much (except if you were a guy) The event had a very “bougie” and pretentious feel so much so that I had no black women network with me the entire night (unless we had known each other previously) Now that is very interesting and it just proves that the majority of these women were trying to meet a man to date, bed or wed.
After eating and drinking for a while, I made my rounds and ran into people that I hadn’t seen in years. Eventually I started talking to this one guy, who I met through a former colleague and who seemed like a decent guy, but very anti-social. I liked his conversation, so I thought I would be a little nosy and inquire about his personal status. Turns out he has a girlfriend that he’s been going out with for about 1½ years, so that automatically knocks him out the box for dating but at least I can keep him around as a networking buddy.

I also ran into David (not his real name) surrounded by a few females, who seemed to know each other. One of them talked to me briefly and seemed like a really nice person. She seemed connected to David but I couldn’t really tell if it was just my imagination or if there was something there. Now, when I met him, he never introduced anyone who was standing in his vicinity but he looked a little concerned that I might say something not too flattering about him. I couldn’t figure why he was so skittish then just as I was about to leave the venue, I ran into the same woman in the bathroom. Lo and behold, the truth comes out and she has been dating David for the past few months. (My first thought was, why bring sand to the beach) Anyway, I found that interesting because though I have never dated him I do know a little bit about him and the two seemed a bit mismatched but who am I to judge. Just to give you a little background, I hung out with him several months ago, after we hadn’t seen each other in years and this fool basically discovered (or acted like he had no cash on him) so after I ended up buying the 1st round of drinks, instead of him buying the 2nd round, he tells me that he can buy a bottle (of wine) and then go back to my place and chill. I laughed so hard because I found that option to be completely unacceptable. I have run into him on other occasions, including once when he introduced to one of his friends, who has now become a friend of mine. But overall, he wants people to share information about happenings around the city, yet he’s not quick to share any info with anyone else. I digress...needless to say this girl and I talk for about 10 minutes, in the bathroom, we had already exchanged business cards earlier and she proceeded to invite me to the VIP area at the Jersey City Carnival, which is being held this Sat. Of course, with that kind of hookup, I said I would definitely stop by to say hi. Tonight, I'm actually supposed to meet a guy for drinks after work and then go to an event here in Brooklyn. We'll see how that goes! Hanging out every night is very exhuasting, esp. by the time you get to Friday. I will be dragging at work today. TGIF

Ever met a professional homeless man?

I know it’s been a while but I’m trying to make up for it now. Sometimes it gets hard to keep this blog on a daily basis; I think I need a personal assistant. Last night I hung out at Gracie Mansion for the kickoff of Harlem week and it was a very well attended event, approx 1,000 people. The food was decent and the crowd was interesting, to say the least, but I have come to the conclusion that sometimes you can take folks out of the ‘hood but you can’t take the ‘hood out of folks. I mean there were women there with their breasts hanging out, looking for a husband/mate/whatever, there were other folks trying to cut in line like we were standing on line to get into a club. It was actually a little funny to watch it all play out. I lasted for about an hour and then I had enough so I left there and went to eat in the area with some friends. Then, I cabbed it back to Brooklyn. Now, I had spoken to a friend earlier in the evening and he mentioned that he wanted to drop by. Well, needless to say I hadn’t seen him in about 6 months. Let me tell you sometimes things change in a short period of time – I should have had him send me a picture first. He basically showed up at my doorstep and looked HOMELESS (I guess I need to be thankful that he didn’t smell like he was homeless) I met him last year and when I met him, he looked decent and clean shaven with a very interesting conversation. I also happened to meet him through friends. But as I have learned through several experiences in the recent past, just because you meet someone through friends, doesn't mean that they get the automatic go-ahead. Now, a little background on the guy: he’s smart, educated, in his 30’s but is anti-establishment. So, essentially that entitles him to walk around looking like a bum. I have actually seen bums who are in better shape! His hair looked unkempt (he's supposedly try to grow some dreadlocks and his face was desperately in need of a shave (he hadn't shaved in about 2-3 months and there was some SERIOUS hair growth). Then guys wonder why they can’t meet or keep a woman?? If those are the pickins then I will be staying single for a time to come!!!

Married men are on the prowl....

OK, I am convinced that men are a trip...and some of them are truly dogs. Some of these stories, I couldn’t even make it up if I even tried. So, I’m convinced that some packages are best left on the shelf as in the sexy 21 year old came over last night and we hung out; he can proved to be some summertime entertainment but that’s about it. My friends who saw his picture are convinced that he’s younger than 21 but as long as he’s legal, who is counting the actual age. Onward to other adventures...

Today it was really hard to get myself motivated to go to work. Do any of you ever have that issue? Maybe I need a sugar daddy and all my problems will be solved. No, really, I am ready to have a more exciting job that involves constant interaction with people!

I had lunch with Sam and John (the names have obviously been changed to protect the innocent. I bet Sam (married guy – who I am not interested in) on the Spain – France World Cup match and lost! At least we only bet lunch so I wasn’t too upset about that. John is this good looking guy from Grenada who works with Sam and came along for lunch because we have a mutual interest in each other. We went to Red, pseudo-Mexican spot near the South Street Seaport for lunch, and had a great time talking about politics, cultural differences and dating. Then, as John was walking me back to my office he basically came clean and said that although he is interested in me…he had to be honest, and he’s trying to get back together with his ex-girlfriend of 2 years with whom he broke up about 2 months ago. Now, I gave him a stupefied look and thought…hmmm…I appreciate the honesty but why didn’t that whole conversation happen a lot sooner. Men will be men! I figured he could be a nice lunch time buddy esp. since he works so close to my job.

After work, I decided to go to TGI Fridays since I had yet another rough day at work today. I ran into some of the regulars. Then I started talking to Eric, who is a handsome man, working for a major investment bank. He offered me a drink and we start talking. It turns out that he is 34, married and has a 1 month old at home and are you ready for this?? Looking for some entertainment which is why he goes out to bars so he can pick up women on the side. I actually wasn’t shocked but I felt quite disgusted because I thought why do we as women put up with this BS. It’s really unfortunate and makes me wonder if I will ever get married!!

I left around 9pm or so and headed up to Harlem to hang out with a few of my boys. I actually took a cab there and had a very interesting chat with a young (27 y.o.) cab driver from India. The guy was very intelligent with a background and degree in IT but having a hard time finding a job (he has a green card so no worries about the HB-1 Visa). I was definitely ready to go out on a date with him!! We exchanged info and said that we would meet up for coffee/tea at some point in the future so we can chat about his career path, etc.

I definitely find that hanging out with guys is a lot more low maintenance than hanging out with women, well actually I have to be honest, I have very few single girls in NY that I can hang out with on a regular basis. Most of them are married and/or have kids and/or have some sort of drama that I don’t want to deal with. I went to this restaurant called Creole, on 118th and 3rd Ave in Spanish Harlem and let me say the food was delicious! I had coconut shrimp (huge juicy shrimp) and tried some chicken, yams and collard greens. Yummy!!! You have to try it if you live in NY or if you’re planning on coming to NY in the near future. I met an older guy who bought me a few drinks all while telling me that “he liked my rack”. OK, I guess in his book that was a compliment. He was a bit intoxicated so the conversation didn’t progress very far. Thank goodness! Then this guy’s, son walked in and boy was he yummy, and only 21. I think there’s something wrong with me because I’m clearly regressing and going through a younger guy phase. Is this like an early midlife crisis? I’m not sure. Well, I enjoyed the entertainment. BTW, the owner happens to be single as well. He’s 40, well built, handsome and lots of trouble...hmmmm...the potential is there but I think that he meets his fair share of women on a regular basis. Oh well, I can always dream!!

I left there and stopped off at Sugarcane on the way home. Sugarcane was jumping with men!! I only stayed for a hot minute because I wasn’t driving and my friend wanted to get home. I chatted for a few minutes with this gorgeous muscular guy, who I figured wasn’t single. It turns out he’s married and was at Sugarcane with his girlfriend. Is it possible that there are this many men out there with an OUTSIDE WOMAN??? This is absolutely unbelievable. I think I need to become a nun because this is ridiculous. Well I checked out the scenery, danced for a little while and then came home. I need to hit the sack now. Hope you’re enjoying these stories because I definitely find them entertaining to tell!!

TGI Fridays and Kush (so many men, so little time)

Yesterday, I had a bad day at work! I am so ready to own my own business, it's not even funny. I admire people who can actually go to work and not feel passionate or fulfilled about their job. After I got off work, I decided to go to my hang out spot close to work, which is TGI Fridays. They are actually going to be closing down at some point this summer since they are building this huge transit hub in lower Manhattan so I better enjoy it while it's still there. Where else can you go and get $2 drafts, $3 margaritas, and $4 appetizers; you can't beat that!! I ran into a few of the regulars and we started discussing my 2nd favorite topic (when I'm not talking about politics) which is dating. The conversation included both the black and white perspective which made it very interesting because I realize that culturally we date very differently and at times I think that we are programmed differently in terms of how we prepare to meet a potential mate and/or walk down the aisle with a guy. Towards closing time (around 8:45pm), this guy, who had been hanging out with his boys all night, started talking to me and it turns out that he lives in VA, just out of DC, and he drove up with some friends to celebrate the departure of some of his friends from a job down there. He is a cutie, 38y.o., single African American guy, who claims he will be back here on business in about
3 weeks. He wanted me and my friend to hang out with him and his boys, but I could tell that they didn't want that (bringing sand to the beach concept) so I said that we would leave and I would call him once I got home. When I called him, we had a quick conversation and he mentioned that he would be leaving early this morning so I probably wouldn’t get a chance to see him before he heads back to VA.

I took a cab home since it was getting late and I was feeling a bit buzzed. I stopped off at Kush, an African restaurant around the corner from me, and ran into a guy, who claimed to know me. I realized that once he treated me to a glass of wine that it was clearly a bad line that he was trying to use on me. I thought I would keep him company for a little while since I felt bad because he was eating dinner solo, it’s like giving back to the community by donating some of my time. The guy came off very nervous and almost in shock that I was even sitting next to him, so clearly, there’s a self esteem issue. He went on to mention the fact that he’s currently unemployed and wants to open up a restaurant in NJ, I think he said.
It seemed a bit random since I think he has no experience as a chef nor does he seem to have the business acumen to keep a business running successfully over the long haul. However, I could have underestimated him and he could prove me wrong.

I finally dragged myself home around 11pm and realized that coming home to an empty apartment when you're single can really suck, especially when you have a few drinks in your system and you proceed to do the "drunk dialing" to talk to people who might still be up and start rambling to them in some slightly coherent fashion. I managed to talk to a few friends, including a few in NY, one in LA and another in Chicago. The time difference makes it easy to find people who are still up late at night in places outside of NY since most people here tend to go to bed well before midnight and I wouldn't want to wake them up. Somehow, I finally fell asleep around 2am or so and when I got up, it was not good because I clearly had a hangover. Needless to say, I was in no shape to go to work so I had to stay home and fully recuperate!

Brooklyn Promenade date

Last night I had a date with the sexy 21 year old, that I met last week. I have been warned by some of my friends not to get caught up while others told me to just enjoy myself and have fun. I’m proceeding very cautiously with him since he has an impressionable young mind and I wouldn’t really want to corrupt him. Yeah right!!!

So, he came and picked me up from my place and we went to the Brooklyn Promenade, located in Brooklyn Heights, which is great look out point from which you can see the Statue of Liberty as well as the entire NY skyline. We hung out for a few hours in that “getting to know you” phase. He has the potential to be a smart guy but I think that he hasn’t fully realized his potential and he’s clearly not interested in pushing the envelope when it comes to his intellectual growth. He clearly spends way too much time watching TV and hanging out on Myspace (which I know can be addictive for anyone under 25 years old!!) Somehow, we actually managed to have a nice conversation and though it wasn’t an intellectually stimulating conversation, it was still light and fun, which is nice to have every now and then. The evening ended with him dropping me home and agreeing to hang out at some point before the end of the week so we’ll see what happens. I’m not sure if it’s even worth it to go through opening his eyes to doing different types of activities, such as biking around the park and potentially going on road trips, if that’s not part of his perspective. Interestingly enough, he doesn’t smoke or drink and he actually is a practicing Christian, who attends church on a weekly basis, and doesn’t like it when women curse….now that’s interesting. I think he’s also very caught up in a woman’s image, meaning that she has to look hot all the time, and honestly, I like to dress down and pull my hair back down every so often, not trying to necessarily look like a model every time I step outside my apartment. Well, we’ll see about this one!!

The weekend exploits....

Last week I met this really cute 21 year old – before you start saying anything, I know that I’m robbing the cradle but he is gorgeous!!! He’s about 5'11", works in Manhattan, has a car and unfortunately also lives at home. But after all, it’s not like I’m trying to walk down the aisle with him!! I also ran into him over the weekend at the International African Arts Festival, held here in Brooklyn. The festival is an opportunity to support Black vendors who are selling handmade clothes, jewelry, services and food. It’s also nice to run into people that you know from the neighborhood. As I walked around, I saw the young’un, where he was cooking up some jerk chicken. I was really surprised to see him and got a chance to chat with him for a little while. There were some really gorgeous guys at the festival, including a booth, where these hot guys were giving massages!! If only, I could have my own personal massage therapist on call 24/7 for any services that I might need….I can keep dreaming I guess.

I went out with a friend on Sat night and met quite a few cuties while I was hanging out. First of all, I saw this guy that I dated back in the mid-90’s who works at the U.N. and still claims to be in love with me, huh??? Men are SO FULL OF IT. He was overjoyed with excitement by the fact that he ran into me after all these years. I got his business card and promised to follow up with him; we’ll see abut that. Then I went to this lounge, called Moe’s, where it’s a nice laid back vibe. Of course, I somehow got into a political debate with this guy; P. who basically was defending the war in Iraq because it’s the only was the U.S. was able to avoid inflation. He considers himself an individualist/collectivist, or something along those lines. He was very interesting but I realize that when you deal with some of these guys who are intellectuals, they always want to have verbal calisthenics with you over any issue and quite frankly, I sometimes want to suspend my brain for a little while when I’m dealing with someone. Needless to say, he went home shortly after we had this conversation and I was able to enjoy the rest of the morning before I headed home around 4am!